Thoughts uncensored


To Be or not to Be.

To be or not to be

Why do we live? What do we live for? What is it that keeps us going?

What are we continuously searching for all our lives?

Happiness? Peace? Salvation? Love?

Why do we feel lost sometimes?


If you’ve seen films like ‘The Matrix’, ‘Inception’, petite attempts to bring out the truth to the world, and if you ever wanted to be able to decode them and have this urge to know the truth, you’re in the right company.

You just realized that you are on your way to Self-realization, what next?

Self-realization is one thing. Love is another.

War of the words, ego clashes, Growth, Evolution, all things aside in the world. True Love has no comparison.

‘Eternal happiness’ or ‘absolute nothingness’.

Irrespective of the dimensions, what would you choose out of the two?

Choices, you know. We have nothing but choices. This or that. Pit or ditch. Choose your destiny; also an illusion because what we’ll choose is ‘almost’ predecided. I say ‘almost’ because we have been emotionally, spiritually, rhetorically, rationally, paradoxically and fully yet partly programmed to choose, however, if we could still choose what we weren’t programmed to choose against all odds, like Neo did in the Matrix, we would still be limited by all the worldly dimensions because we would still be part of the program.

What is then real freedom? It is when we are not limited by the dimensions of time and space and can embark upon a new road without having to pay any road taxes. Kidding. I mean when we are not limited by the illusion of choices.


Human nature, as programmed to be decided by orientation of huge celestial objects i.e. ‘Zodiac’, cannot change however hard one tries; though behavior can always be modified.

Okay, so we have mastered a couple of skills, and kudos to you if you were born gifted, but what next?

We know we cannot acquire all the skills in one lifetime. We cannot read all the books in the world we ever wanted to read. We cannot be all of those we ever wanted to be. We cannot live and experience all the beauty in the world from each and every dimension.

How limited we are in every sense.


Why do we have believers, atheists and even agnostics? Why does there have to be equilibrium in the world? Why does the equation have to be balanced all the time? What was the purpose behind our Creation? Why is everyone born with predecided IQ, EQ & SQ levels?  Why is one lifetime too short to decipher all this?

How would you term all this as ? ‘Spiritual intelligence’?

Can one really understand the Game plan and still manage to love life?

Why am I writing all this? Am I not Being by doing so? Am I rejecting or accepting the program by doing so?

There it is folks, just some random thoughts that keep racing through my mind from time to time.

Can you relate?

16 thoughts on “Thoughts uncensored

  1. In my understanding, Self realization is where you don’t lose yourself, you only uplift yourself. You still have an identity of your own. The “I” still exists. ‘Buddha‘ and ‘Mahavira‘ are two names that come to my mind in this case. They realized that their existence here was just an illusion. So, they searched for the cause. Buddha did not believe in God and was lost in “Nirakaar” and Mahavira also said that God is an illusion, instead you can yourself become God. He didn’t believe in the creation theory. However, thankfully we know they are all merely other forms of illusion.
    On the contrary, in true love you actually lose yourself to your lover. You don’t exist anymore; it’s the lover who is there. However, it’s difficult to understand who is worth this and the question is, are we able to decide this? But, the thing is if someone is lost in love with Krishna, that too is an illusion (according to what we know). So, what I understand is that falling in love with even Krishna or Allah is just a form of love, it’s however not the actual true love. It’s obviously a higher form according to this world but among the lowest forms if we actually look from the top. Also, their love is a part of this program and certainly has limits and boundaries. What do you say regarding this?

    You asked a question – of choosing – Eternal happiness or Absolute nothingness?

    Now again the next question arises – what is this eternal happiness? Again according to what we know, when the entire world would be given salvation, obviously they would be given eternal happiness but the forms of happiness would be different. So, isn’t that also programmed?
    And isn’t absolute nothingness another illusion. It is sure that there is a supreme most being. Everything else is created. And absolute nothingness wouldn’t actually exist. And if it does, then I have no idea about what should be done about it. But this world too has 7 voids (7 Sunya), but that’s again an illusion.

    1. Again, thanks for commenting Shyam.

      I beg to disagree with you on the concept of Self-realization. A true self-realization is achieved when we completely lose our identity and start believing in the non-existence of self. It is only then that we are able to do a self-analysis from another dimension independent of the worldly limits by being transparent and look at all our weaknesses and strengths in a whole new light.

      However, rather than being contrary it is synonymous with true love because it can only blossom in full awareness yet non-existence of self (also a paradox).

      As for the eternal happiness being programmed, ironically I don’t think that everything at Creator’s level and above that is necessarily programmed. We don’t know that much yet.

      By absolute nothingness, I meant the ‘supreme existence’ and not the existence of everything that is created. It is absolute nothingness for us because we are hardly able to decipher even this very life, let alone the Creator’s level. And there’s something which is not an illusion, at least for us. So, let’s not get into the detailed illusion of words too much and rather try to get the whole idea in general.

      1. True, if you take things at the top most level.. Self realization = true love (they go hand in hand). Non-existence of self is a paradox according to this world, not beyond. There the lovers unite and become one. However, here only union is possible.
        And yes, beyond creator’s level things are not programmed. But below that everything is. In this respect, I was talking about the 8 Bahists and also Paramdham where too things are in dimensions and planned. So, they too come under a higher creator who has a program for them. However, we have nothing to do with them.
        And ya “absolute nothingness = supreme existence” is very true.

        Thank you, few things have become much more clear with this.

  2. Also, you have mentioned a very good point on choices. I agree with you on this. Firstly, I was unable to understand how could puppets take their own decisions, but then knowing that the Creator has unlimited powers he could give the puppets a chance to choose. However, again it’s an illusion, because what is chosen is only a part of the program. The “if else” loops so created are Creator’s choice. So, basically the puppets are only made to believe that it is them who have chosen it.

    To be true, this indeed is a very dirty game. And yes, how can one love life after knowing even a bit of this game plan !

  3. “Why am I writing all this? Am I not Being by doing so? Am I rejecting or accepting the program by doing so?”

    The last three lines: Why do you think you are writing it ? And why am I so interested in your writings. May be the will is of the higher one. We both obviously have the idea that things are not the way they should be and hence we are here. This purpose has also been told to Neo in the Matrix. And obviously we are rejecting the program, that’s why we are questioning it. And ya, you are not being by doing this..this is leading to self awareness – “the self realization” you talked about. Can’t say whether this is part of the program, but then it seems to me it’s hacked from “beyond the creation”.

  4. So from this I gather that you feel lost, overwhelmed, and helpless. I understand your thoughts/questions about life, but ‘no, I can’t relate’ to your feelings of despair. Maybe because I am a scientist at heart and I believe in biology, chemistry and physics. I don’t believe that science has all the answers, but it is more robust than believing in celestial bodies or gods, which I think are archaic devices used by past civilisations (without our scientific level of understanding) to try and explain the world around them.

    If you are going to refer to the Matrix, you should read ‘Valis’ by Philip K Dick, the book that the Matrix idea comes from, although somewhat obscurely. And be sure to read a brief synopsis of his life, because it was quite incredible, and if you think it was pre-decided then why aren’t more peoples lives like that?

    1. Thanks for judging and sharing your thoughts Peter.
      There’s nothing wrong with believing in chemistry, physics and biology (I have been a science student myself) as science-believers are not necessarily atheists.
      The great scientists were great because they started with God’s Word as the foundation for their thinking. This is why our modern science was able to develop to the great heights it has.
      In short, Science is nothing but a way to understand the God’s creation.

      Some articles I would recommend reading to understand the origin of science :

      Thanks for suggesting the source of the Matrix, although I got what I needed to understand from the movie.
      And I didn’t get your last question, ‘Why aren’t more peoples’ lives like what?’

      1. I meant why aren’t more peoples lives like Philip Dick’s was. You should still look into Valis – the Matrix plot is not from Valis, but Valis was the inspiration for the Matrix. The Matrix is like a version of Valis for primary school children, its worlds apart – you’ll see what I mean if you investigate it! Lots of mentions of godheads, lasers, allsorts.

        Again, I don’t agree science is great because of god or gods word. I think we will continue to talk at cross points on this topic 🙂

      2. I see a contradiction in your question. If everything is pre-decided, then why aren’t more people’s lives like that? The contradictory answer could be : ‘Because it is pre-decided’. It’s for the same reason as why everybody can’t be Einstein. Everyone has been uniquely programmed and they do and act as their senses/mind tell them to, which is also imperative for this world to function in the way determined by the Creator.
        It’s rather ‘Science of God’ and not ‘God vs. Science’.
        And ‘Valis’ should come to me if it was meant to be read by me 🙂

    1. Thanks for your comment Nancy!
      It is indeed the inexplicable, perplexing & astonishing mise-en-scène of Life that gets us thinking in the first place.
      Hope the mystery is demystified soon!

  5. As u said i agreed with dis… everything which is happening is
    preplanned…all dis now we are discussing nd thinking is also preplanned??

    1. Thanks for your comment Vaishnavi!

      It is meant to be preplanned. However, it’s more like an intuitive program of the Creator, so changes and modifications are part of the game.
      ‘Déjà vu’ could be related to this actuality.

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